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Who am I

Nov. 2, 1982

I am a normal person. At least that is what I know about myself. 


Basketball: Bowling: Billiards: Badminton: Soccer: Wall Climbing: Swimming: Cycling: Martial Arts: Dancing: Sleeping: Hanging out with Friends: Drinking Beer with Friends: Playing video games: Playing video games with Friends: Malling: Bar Hopping: KTV : Surfing the Internet: Playing Around: Kidding Around: Deep Thinking: Daydreaming:

PS Friends: 

Anne Marii


Bloggy Friends


Other Friends




My past...

July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
January 2007
April 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
June 2008
October 2008
November 2008
February 2009
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
January 2012

layout by qamuri

Sunday, August 21, 2005

I am ME

They say that if you share a problem with a friend, it becomes lighter. I guess it's true. I've had a lot of friends who confide with me their deepest and darkest secrets. Those secrets are kept within me and will remain that way till I die. I guess they felt better after talking to me. I believe it formed a bond of friendship, a psuedo-committment between 2 strangers. But that doesn't work for me.

I am, should I say, unique. I am damned with my own personality. I keep everything for myself. My secrets, my deepest thoughts I never share. I only accept but I don't give out. Even if it is unfair, even if it would mean losing a something because of it ... I'm sorry. I can assure anybody a bond of friendship that is far more than others' but nobody can force me to share what I don't want to share. Call me selfish, despise me, do not accept me in your own little worlds. This is who I am... This is who I chose to be. Nobody can change me.

poisoned_____10:47 AM

(7) venomed victims

Wednesday, August 17, 2005


I'm sorry if you feel that I'm keeping something from you.

As of now I could not deny the fact that it's true.
It's the only way I know I'll survive.

I had to live a double life.

To be somebody I could never be.
To be something I always dreamed to be.

It's my whole life I had to hide.

I will never be able to tell which is which and who is who.

I might not be able to show the real me.

All I know is I care for you...

Coz believe me, this much is true...

poisoned_____8:35 PM

(4) venomed victims

Tuesday, August 16, 2005


Nababaliw na ako!!! Urat na ako sa buhay ko! Ayoko na nang ganito... grrr... if only I could turn back time and correct the mistakes. I would have been happier. If only I could move time forward and see myself either successful or dead, I would have been contented.

Buti nalang may angel ako... I love you Baby Ashy! *MWAHUGZ*

poisoned_____8:50 PM

(2) venomed victims

Thursday, August 11, 2005

In the dark path of life...

When trials and tortures abound hardships and sufferings manifest themselves, face them with glory. Never cry of fear for my whole body is made of sound strength. A weak spot exists not. Throw at me whatever you wish, lay on me the most horrid tribulations but you will never hear a squeak of anguish nor a cry of pain. I will walk through them with my head held up high. I am who I am right now ... always is ... and forever will be, a shadow lurking in the dark reflection of life.

"At the precise moment that you get to understand more about life. Everything you have will be both precious and insignificant. A positive and a negative. Although, there is no choice involved. Only acceptance... One of the great ironies of life."

poisoned_____7:58 PM

(7) venomed victims

Wednesday, August 10, 2005


Why can't I just be a normal young man having normal life problems. Why do I have to succumb to complicated situations and life-threatening risks? Is this a test? Who made this test? He/She/IT has some nerve to play with my life...

Battle Frenzy

I didn't have anything better to do so I worked the punching bag. Every punch I threw made me stronger. I can hear the thuds grow louder and louder. I didn't realize it but I was actually attacking the inanimate object like crazy. Weird thing is, while I was punching, I was thinking of something else. I was thinking about my life, my problems, the sufferings I needed to endure. My thoughts were far more painful and exhausting compared to my exercise. Maybe that's why I didn't even feel my fists being tortured. I snapped back to reality in time to find my knuckles bloody. My punching bag had no trace of blood. Could it be a sign that I cannot win over my demons? Or does this mean I'm only hurting myself... ... I certainly hope so.

poisoned_____12:17 AM

(3) venomed victims

Monday, August 08, 2005

Losing it...

Bakit ba ganun? Bakit kapag walang meaning ang ginagawa mo kailangan meron? Bakit kung kelan wala kang balak, saka nagkakaroon? Bakit kailangan magkamali ka from time to time? Bakit nga ba may tama at mali? The most important question for today is: BAKIT?

Bakit ba ako kelangan magtrabaho? Bakit ba ako kelangan maghanap nang rason sa buhay ko? Bakit ba ako kailangan mabuhay? Bakit ba ako nabubuhay? BAKIT ba ganyan? Bakit ba ganito?

And so that's it. The most confusing questions of all start with the word: BAKIT ...

You will lose interest in life if you do not find the answers... but you will lose your life without knowing ... So what's the use?

GRRRR! Stop thinking Jace!!! Stop thinking!!!

poisoned_____2:59 AM

(5) venomed victims

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Wish me Luck...
I'll be needing lots of it today. I'll be making very important decisions. *SIGH* Good luck talaga sa akin. Please!!!!!!

poisoned_____1:56 PM

(6) venomed victims

Thursday, August 04, 2005


I came from another world. A world where everything is not what is seems. We have different customs, different reactions to situations. However, the fundamentals of human emotions are still there. Goodness... Badness... Love... Hate... Joy... Sorrow...Rage... Apathy... We see things in a different light. Some have more profound understanding. Some are just plain stupidity.

I am currently trying to survive in the human world. I try to see things through. I try harder to relate to people. I might say things and mean it differently. I may do things humans may find confusing or offensive. If I offended anybody, I really to apologize. If I confused anybody, please pardon me. I may look like a normal person but I really am far from it.

I hope humans can accept me as I am. I hope we could all just get along.

poisoned_____12:01 AM

(7) venomed victims

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

I love August because ...
- It's starting to get cold at night. Labing Labing!!! Yiheee...
- It rains in the afternoon but the night sky is clear. Kewl....
- Scorpio constellation is starting to show up a little earlier now. Scorpios Rule!
- A lot of my friends are August Celebrants. Party all month!!!
- It's My Baby's Bday!!! YAY!!! MWAHUGZ!
- Everything Seems to be fun!!!
August 3 na. Happy Monthsarry to me and my baby... Yeah... I love August. (",)

poisoned_____2:03 AM

(5) venomed victims

Monday, August 01, 2005

Managing Stress

Even though I am not doing a lot of things, I feel a lot of stress due to the happenings in my sorroundings. Tension builds up and I find myself trapped between exploding in rage and lying down, not feeling anything, doing absolutely nothing. I deviced some plans and exercises for me to be able to counter it ... and ultimately survive.

Knock it off!: Feeling like a volcano about to erupt? Bomb it out on a punching bag. It relieves you from fits of rage, and it even makes you healthy! Plus, if you feel like someone's pissing you off, get their picture from friendster, print it, clip it on your bag, clench your fists and release! Graaaahhh!!!!

Woof!: One of the best ways to releave stress is to play with your pet! Take him/her out for a walk. Play dress-me-up or something. You can even teach your pet to chase people you don't like. Sick em boiii!!!

Haha. Sniff...: If you're a guy, it's too hard to release your emotions so what I did was pretty drastic. I locked the doors, closed the light and watched DVD! Scary stories, Funny Plots, Romantics, action: watch them all and empathize with the protagonists. Cry if need be! At least nobody's there to laugh at your face!

I'm still thinking of other things to do to take my mind out of things. I'm actually running out ideas here! I'm being eaten alive by stress and depression!!! WAAAAAahhhhh!!!! At least there's always a fall-back plan. DRINK MY ASS OFF! Works like a charm... *wink wink*

poisoned_____8:56 PM

(2) venomed victims