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Who am I

Nov. 2, 1982

I am a normal person. At least that is what I know about myself. 


Basketball: Bowling: Billiards: Badminton: Soccer: Wall Climbing: Swimming: Cycling: Martial Arts: Dancing: Sleeping: Hanging out with Friends: Drinking Beer with Friends: Playing video games: Playing video games with Friends: Malling: Bar Hopping: KTV : Surfing the Internet: Playing Around: Kidding Around: Deep Thinking: Daydreaming:

PS Friends: 

Anne Marii


Bloggy Friends


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My past...

July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
January 2007
April 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
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October 2007
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January 2008
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June 2008
October 2008
November 2008
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June 2011
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August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
January 2012

layout by qamuri

Friday, July 27, 2007

Trauma of the Troubled Boy-Magnet

I'm gonna tackle two things here.

I remember when I was around 11, I was walking around at the mall on an early afternoon. I checked our those new computer games being displayed. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I heard a soft but masculine voice. "Psst... pogi". I was terrified because I know I was the only other person there. So I started to walk away. After about 5 minutes, I heard that scary voice again. "Huy pogi... Ano pangalan mo?" This sent shivers to my spine. I was much to young and this man... he was towering over me. I know I couldn’t fight back. So decided to give a fake name. “Richard”. “Richard, ang gwapo mo talaga” Na-*toot* (Oral sex in tagalog) ka na ba?” This question triggered me to run as fast as I could ... to the security guard... who asked the same question. Haha just kidding. The part with guard did not happen. But this was the time when my Trauma began.

Those were the younger years when I could not differentiate homosexuality from Pedophilia. My mind was filled with negativity because of that incedent.

Fast forward to the present. I’m old enough to know the difference now. The years that I’ve garnered in this world has given me enough experience to know better. I am happy to say that my trauma is gone. Only being a boy magnet remains.

Now on to topic two.

I don’t know why but a lot of gay people seem to like somebody like me. Why? I’m not tall, dark and handsome. I’m just dark. I’m not even the very accommodating type of guy? So why choose somebody like me? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not bragging or anything. Besides... is there really something to brag about? Hmmm... very good question.

A colleague of mine said this to me a few days back “Jace, it’s not so bad”. And come to think of it. Yeah... it’s not bad! I’m actually proud that somebody likes me for me. Whether he’s a she or she’s a he or whatever! I’m happy that I am accepted for being who I am. Just the same way as I have accepted them for who they are.

I’m not a homophobic. I have Ed I have Mike I have Kiko and Mark and all of my other gay friends. They actually turn out to be true people. They make a lot of other people happy and they have come to accept that they are different. They are happy with who they are. Some of them actually turned out to be one of my very good friends, they are treasures that I am willing to keep. I love them for being them ... and I will fight with anybody who condemns them.

I just don’t like the type who stalks you and asks that dreaded question (brrr)

So, to conclude this all, I’ve just come to a better understanding of my life.

Just one of the things I’ve been thinking about while going home. Believe me, this is not even a single percentage of the confusion that is my mind.

poisoned_____3:55 AM

(0) venomed victims

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Concoction of Everyday life

1) Greet my super lovely and sexy baby a good morning before going to sleep

2) Sleep at least 7 hours

3) Dream a good dream (Perhaps dream happy dreams with my baby love)

4) Wake up and Iron clothes

5) Take my early dinner

6) Hopefully take a huge dump (What's the opposite of LBM? Constipation?)

7) Take a bath and get ready for work

8) Go to work and try very hard not to be late

9) Message my super sweet and super loving baby as soon as I get to the office

10) Work like tomorrow is just a few hours away and you still have a lot to do

11) Go home

12) Rinse and Repeat for the following day until friday only

aaaaahhhh.... delicious... :)

Sounds routinary? Yes it may seem so... but its the story of my life. I'm happy with it. Especially with my baby around, life is happy. I'm so lucky... :)

Please don't get me wrong though. I'm always looking forward to the weekends. Relaxation is just as important as work. Plus I get to have a biiiggg hug and biiiiggg kiss from the person I love the most! Yay!!!

Half of the week is done... Thank God!

poisoned_____2:26 AM

(0) venomed victims

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Some things you just gotta do

July 25, 2007 5:00 AM

Just this morning I was normally travelling home from work. I rode a jeepney from buendia to guadalupe and this was the time that all normal things faded.

I was just about half a mile away from my stop when me and the other passengers glanced upon two men running away from a full-stopped jeepney. The driver of that other vehicle was actually trying to chase these men and he kept on shouting "Tang ina magnanakaw!". In a blink of an eye, the driver of our jeepney made a complete stop, took out a stick and began chasing the men as well. The other driver just couldn't catch up but our jeep was actually blocking the way of the notorious people and our driver was now running towards them. They had them seemingly blocked.

Suddenly, one of the men pounced upon our driver like a football player and began launching fists at his face. The other guy observed the ground, carried a small rock and tried to face the other driver. The other driver halted and tried to look for a weapon of his own.

At this time, I had flashbacks of my past. This is nothing new to me anymore. The first time this happened, three people left an innocent man for dead and I was a few feet away. I chanced upon this but I could not do anything since the vehicle I was riding did not stop. This time though... I knew I could not let it happen again.

The other guy left his partner to chase the other driver so I know I have a chance to do something. I immediately went down from the jeep and approached the two fighting men. Our driver's face is already swollen. Blood was gushing out of his nose and mouth. His whole body is bound to the ground as the snatcher was mounted on him. He had no escape. I had to do something. So I did... I kicked the sonofabitch's face. He rolled away from the driver and covered his face so as to block my attacks. I kept on looking for an opening. His left cheek, his neck, his chest; I was punching like there's no tomorrow.

Suddenly, a thud came out of nowhere, I didn't feel it at first but I knew I was hit. I staggered away for bit to try to come into my senses. That's when I noticed that the partner of the guy was already in the scene. He hit me. I guess adrenaline worked with me and I did not feel a thing. It's now three against two and I'm dying for some payback.

Just then, two other people came into the rescue. A bus conductor and another jeepney driver. Seeing this, the two guys ran away and the chase started once again. They made a right into the a corner beside a gas station and the good men followed behind. As for me, I could not run anymore... I felt the pain at the back of my head. One of the passengers said that I was punched by the other guy. Luckily it was just a punch.

It was all too much for me so I rode another jeepney and headed towards home.

I reached the house safe and sound although with an aching head. But deep down inside I know I am relieved. I am not exactly proud of what I did but I will be damned if I didn't do it at all.

There are just some things, some people just gotta do.

poisoned_____2:42 AM

(0) venomed victims

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Chances and Choices

I have come to believe that this is what a majority of my life is made of right now. There are things that you are able to control... and there are things that just come to your life. Both are intertwined and can never be separated.

When you wake up one morning and you only have a single piece of fish to eat. You scrounge up all of the coins lying beside your bed and find that it is enough to buy a pack of instant noodles or pancit canton. That, my friends, is the perfect example of the elements of my life working together. It is luck that allowed me to live yet another day of nightmare and poverty. Sarcasm aside though, I'm lucky to still be alive. It is my choice to go through the day and look for ways to improve the quality of my life even a little. And I do so... everyday.

Just the same goes with work. It is by chance that I was accepted to work. Knowing the kind of person I was before, I never thought I would even land a job again. Life has it's way of giving me chances to improve myself. It gives me a chance to prove to the world that I can survive on my own. I can do things better than I have done before. It is my choice to improve myself. I chose to continue working and helping others with their work. I chose to serve... and I happily do.

In life, it is by chance that you would meet somebody who would make your heart skip a beat everytime. You might not notice it. You might not know the exact answer but there's always something that attracts you to that special someone. It just so happens that this person becomes a very important part of yourself. He/She becomes your other half. There may be others who are more attractive. There may be others who are smarter, wiser.. But you will choose to stick with the one you love. For me, it is a choice to continue loving that important person in your life. I chose to love... and I've never been happier.

That is what love is all about. That is what life is all about. Chances and choices. Both are elements of my life. Both are intertwined and inseperable.

poisoned_____3:28 AM

(0) venomed victims

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Striking a Balance

Life is boring if you always go on a straight line. Life is not about being serious all the time. It’s about being serious for the right reasons and at the right time.

Prioritizing is the key to managing your life effectively. But then again, how would you classify something as important and less important? This information I do believe depends on each person. They have to understand what is important to them and they should work their way from it.

Of course, rest and relaxation was not invented for nothing. Having fun is not a sin. It is a way of unwinding and enjoying the fruits of your labor. What’s the reason for working if you won’t be able to reap what you have sowed?

You can’t expect me to be serious all the time. You can’t expect me to be perfect every time. I will make a mistake because life balances me out. It is what keeps me humble. I’m only human after all.

I will always strive to be the better me. But nobody should condemn me for my mistakes. Nobody should be angry if I go out of my way – if I do something out of the ordinary, something out of the routine.

I promise in the end, I will be where I want to be. I’m just simply having fun and taking my time. This is my balance. You can’t beat me. You might just as well join me… :P


poisoned_____11:37 PM

(0) venomed victims

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Love is

The extremes of everything.

The most profound happiness of life.

The power that goes beyond reason.

The value of life.





Congratulations to My lovely Sister Dina Mae and Her Hunk Husband Deene. May you have the happiness that you truly deserve. Happy Wedding guys... good times!

poisoned_____11:50 PM

(0) venomed victims

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Choose Your Own Adventure

Choose your own adventure

I woke up today and I felt hungry so I went to the dining table to see if there is something I wanted to eat. I found that there’s Pancit and adobong manok on the table. These came from stuff that I bought in the market with my own money. Both are dishes that I really like but unfortunately, my tummy is acting up and I knew I could only eat one dish.

If I eat Pancit, I might not survive the whole day just by eating that. I might have to pay more than my budget at lunchtime to eat something that would satisfy me.

So I chose to eat adobong manok. My tummy was relieved.

About a year ago, I was thinking that I was getting too fed up with my work. There’s always something that needs to be done, people to follow-up. It’s always about getting the job done and I was rather new to the job. Can’t I have a rest? Even for a single day?

And then I thought about it, if I have a break, my work would be doubled on the following day, and for all the days to come.

So I chose to work continuously. I got used to the tasks and up until now, I’m still working for the same company. I’m happy for now.

I had so many problems when I was in highschool. They used to drive me crazy day and night. I couldn’t think well. I couldn’t do the things that I needed to do. I just wanted to sulk in a corner and gaze into nothingness. I felt so tired each time … so tired that I actually wished to end it all.

Live or Die. I chose the former. I guess life has something else in store for me so I’ll stick around a little bit more.

Life revolves in the choices we make. If I chose to die a few years back, I wouldn’t be able to work in IHG and meet real, and wonderful people. I wouldn’t have the money to buy ingredients to make pancit or adobong manok, and since it was the only food on the table today, my brother would have been hungry.

The choices we make either enhance or deteriorate the quality of life we have. If I chose to eat Pancit I would have been hungry the whole day or I would have had LBM. If I chose to rest instead of working, I would have suffered a heavy workload. If I chose to die a few years back, I would not have felt the love of my future wife -- This wonderful and ecstatic feeling that makes me feel that I can do the impossible.

I choose to eat. I choose to work. I choose to live. I choose to love. I choose to continue making a choice. That’s the adventure of my life.

poisoned_____11:51 PM

(0) venomed victims