____Do I Look Poisonous To You?

Thursday, June 07, 2007

The story of the Previous Post

I'm gonna be very direct to the point on this. My previous entry entitled Ghost is a creative piece I wrote three years ago. If I remember correctly that time, I just finished watching "GHOST" on HBO... you know... starring Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore? So there... it was never tied up to my Past whatsoever... I noticed some people tying my last entry to my PAST which I do believe if you think about it, pwedeng tumugma diba? I have to enforce once again that it was never about my past. I was just putting myself in the shoes of a Ghost and was wondering what I would say.

No offense... no hard feelings... but let's all please stop talking about it. Enough of that.

Previous post deleted.

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Solitude

I wake up … on a dark and cloudy morning. The room is silent, and even the spinning of the fan creates a muted sound. My brother went to school already, his distorted bed signifying his presence. The quietness is overwhelming. As I stare into the gray sky from the window, I get this familiar feeling… the setting of the sea. It’s an unrestricted, independent and yet unhappy version of tranquility.

I went out of my room and walked passed the hallway. It seems like darkness is swallowing the light at the end of the way. It seems like it’s covering the noise that I yearn to here as well. I wanted to hear voices… people conversing… the TV on HBO or at least the radio playing my kind of music. I reached the dining area and hoped that I could see a smiling face. None. TV is switched off. No lights, no radio… no nothing. The house is enveloped in silence. Only then did I realize that nobody is around. Everybody is out. I cooked my own food, prepared my things and started off to the office. I left the dead place in hope of finding what badly missed.

As I entered the office, everybody was minding its own business. It’s a busy day I presume. Nobody bothered to go out of his or her way to say hi. At least the silence is broken so I said to myself. But as I sat and did my work, I noticed that something is still missing. Even though I had a lot of company, a void is still present in my surroundings. It’s as if the bridge that connects me to other states has fallen down. There is no access to the other end. I can’t seem to find any other way to reach out. And so this emptiness once again fills me. In this area of chitchats and multitudes of conversions, I am still, in all senses,

… … … alone… … …

poisoned_____3:45 PM

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