My worst fear is slowly creeping up to scare the shit out of me. I'm starting to become the kind of person I hate the most. It's a different kind of fear. It's actually a mixture of positive and negative sides, still creepy though. On the positive note, I fear that I might breakdown and eventually lose myself. I fear that I might get sick because of it. It's ok coz at least I know I won't be able to hurt anyone in the process. I will be destroying nobody's life... only my own. On the negative side, I fear that I might actually turn to become "another person", and I'll like it. I'm slowly giving in to life's hatred, and pain, and suffering and I'm afraid that another personality will come out of me. Somebody who can handle the mess that I call my life... carry it on his shoulders and influence every single cell in my body. And I'd be happy. To make things short, I'm starting to become the person I was before... strong, independent... deceptive... heartless.

Heart and Soul please don't fail me now... give me a reason to be happy... give me the strength to still go on being the best I can be.