Being with long-time friends gives you comfort. You can be who you really are. You don’t need to hide emotions or pose as something else coz your friends already know the type of person you are. The fact they accepted you speaks loud enough for you to remain true. “You are who your friends are…”, or so they say.
Working for years in a company will gain you significant experience and respect from peers. You know the routes, the “ins” and the “outs”, and the “nitty gritty” of operations. It builds confidence knowing that you are in total control of everything that is happening.
Both of the above statements are true. Unfortunately, they also constrain a person from diversification, and ultimately, success.
We have to understand that each of us has unlimited potential to become more than what we are today. We have to meet more people and further increase the knowledge by learning from others. We need to do other things and build our experience more on what the world has to offer. We don’t live on what the world has already provided.
Once reflected from all of them, we will come to understand our different sides, personalities and behavior. We will ultimately know more about ourselves.
You can build a lot of conclusions but it barely scratches the surface of the real reason. The Answer? It depends…
It always depends on something else to produce a change. It’s always going to be a combination of different factors. Heck, it could even be caused by a change itself! The answer is damn hard to figure out for ourselves.
Let’s take a case in point:
You’ve been in the same company for god-knows-how-long, you’ve been seeing your girlfriend/boyfriend for x number of years (or months… or days), and you always go out on weekends with your closest friends: In general terms, everything seems constant and fulfilling. But an opportunity suddenly shows itself. A promotion leads to change in career. A fling causes havoc on your relationship. You get to make more friends and try to hang out with all of them, thereby skipping on weekend getaways with your own group. Hence, three situations, leading to multitudes of changing patterns for one’s self.
In no time at all, you get to have these stupid reactions from people around you… wondering what happened to you. “You look different.”, “It seems he changed”, “What’s wrong with him/her”, : these are but some of the statements that will surely crunch your nerves.
Do they really want a forthright answer? Are they expecting a blow by blow detail on the things that led to the change? Who the hell are they to receive such an explanation? Are they shrinks? Thinking about it deeply will only make your head explode. Why then do we need to explain to somebody else right away?
People will have a lot of reasons for changing. They could have a thousand reasons for one small change, and one reason for making an important transition. Life does not count and nobody else should too. It just happens, and usually it’s for the better. If one feels he/she needs to outright say his peace, then allow it. But don’t go around the room, neighborhood, or office, seeking answers as to why somebody changed. Do not confront the person right away expecting to have the reasons handed over in a silver platter and within a 10 minute window. You’ll only end up being stuck spinning in a loop and never reaching the center of the circle. Much worse, the person might end up hating you.
Be patient, expect nothing. Sooner or later, the people who changed could get a clearer picture in thought. Who knows, that person might open up first, or that person may realize that it was just a one off and decide to go back, not changing anything at all.